This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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