I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
