i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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