I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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