eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
