he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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