what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
