didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
