She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize