and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
now i know why i became what i already was.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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