peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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