Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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