Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
