If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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