I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
