Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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