Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
