Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
