New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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