i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
