I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
