yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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