My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
