He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
