Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
