Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
