Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
