Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
