you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
