where does the pee come out of this thing
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
