is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
