I hate your face
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
