every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There was a lot of him and a little penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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