I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
