I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
