I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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