no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
