Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
