There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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