He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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