I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
