Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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