I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
