Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
