I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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