Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
