McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
