I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
