Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
