Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
