We won't sleep together?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
