Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
