i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
