just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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