The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
