How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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