i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
