I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
