walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
