You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
