Can i not drive my cunt home
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
