I've blown a few things in my day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
