You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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